Saturday, July 17, 2010

Nos' Adventures: Casting Intermission

Okay, we're here, Girls. Would you mind telling me what's going on, now?

Don't look at me. I wanted to do this in the bedroom; but noooo - "blood stains marble too easily."

...Wait, what?

Smooth, Demon-Girl. Maybe next you'd like to confess your part in the Holocaust?

Shut up, Pip-Squeak.

Focus, please.

We've been talking...

Three words that always signal an impending bad day...

Something's got to be done about Ria here. She's getting you injured far too often for our taste.

I'll have you know I'm making progress!

Not fast enough, you aren't. You botched the Super Duper Mart so bad that it was painful to watch! If Nos wasn't as fast with a carbine as he is, you'd have gotten him fucking killed.

Yeah! You really suck, you know that? We would've been able to handle the increase-increase spawns in the school.

Hate to agree with these two shorties, but they're right. Any one of us could have decimated those raiders, even with this shitty excuse for equipment that FWE passes out. I went hand-to-hand with two Enclave soldiers who were both in full power armor, once.

And how well did that shit work out?

We're not communicating via Ouija Board, are we?

Heh, yeah I remember that time. Maeva held their attention long enough for me to shoot them both down with my pistol. We were like level three at the time. I ended up using all my ammo on the soldiers, and had to beat the MKIV turret into scrap with this lead pipe I found.


Face it, Honey: Big Sis, Maeva and I aren't even human. You just can't compete.

So what, you're going to fire me?

In a manner of speaking...

...And now I know why you wanted to have this meeting in Springvale instead of sitting in front of the armored-glass windows down in the bedroom...

Don't get any ideas! I can handle myself...

Riiiiiight... Excuse me a moment, I think I need to piss myself in terror.

You know Dear, while I still find it endearing when you claim me with extreme prejudice like this... don't you think this was a little over the top? It's not like I was actually sleeping with her.

As evidenced by the fact that you're still breathing.

We've sworn to protect you. Whether that means Muties or Cannibals or even ditzy Vault-Chicks, we'll take care of it with equal determination.

Stupid bitch. Anyone with half sense would have run like hell. We're the best companions to ever walk the wasteland. Did she really think she had a snowball's chance in hell? Didn't even take more than one of us to down her...

Took me twelve rounds of ammo, though. I'm getting out of practice.

You put six of them into the car; shot the rifle out of her hands twice, and blew off her arm and her head. I'd say you managed pretty well.

So you're not mad, then?

I think it was a waste... but not mad. You know how long it took to get my damned arm to heal after the school. What now, though? I seem to be down a traveling companion; and I can't very well retcon you all in.

As they say: "If you want something done right, do it your fucking self."

This from the woman who wanted me to hire on Ria because she didn't want her name disclosed to the audience. We won't even talk about the lingerie issue...

Immaterial. The character Arianrhod is established, all I have to do is play her, now; and the skanky vault photos are already taken.

Why do I suddenly get the feeling you planned this.

Eh heh... would I do that? I'm a good girl, you know...

That's your opinion. I still say you're probably the Third Antichrist.

Guys! Little help, here?

So, how about we ditch the dead bitch and get set up for the next episode? It's the school, right?

*sigh* Yes. Even if it was all written, I'd still have to re-take all the photos, since the old ones don't seem to apply, anymore...

Cheer up. It could be worse. At least FWE doesn't fuck up our AI?

Yeah, you're right. Though it never ceases to unnerve me when the Demon is the optimist of the group. Alright, someone give me a hand - we'll drag the corpse over to the Potomac and feed her to the 'Lurks. Gods know I don't want to smell corpse for the next couple weeks...


  1. Thanks, I needed that laugh with all the crap I have had past few days.

    I was wondering when you were going to off her and bring back the demonic help.

  2. You guys don't understand! It's the girls! THE GIRLS I TELL YOU!

    I wanted a good, wholesome, family-friendly dramedy about the triumph of the human spirit over adversity, no matter the century...


    DAMN IT. I almost kept a straight face all the way through, that time.

    I must need more practice at lying with a straight face.

  3. A very expected, but unexpected ending. Another cherry is dust.

  4. Aw, now, Ria did manage a few kills.

    Not many, mind you. She mostly ran away and hid; occasionally spraying fire in someone's general direction.

    Was still a fun fight to watch though.

    I wasn't kidding, either - the other one really did shoot the rifle out of Ria's hands twice; AND shot the car until it caught fire because Ria was hiding behind it.