Since I'm well beyond too pissed off to mod this eve... er, morning now... I thought I'd have a sit-down with my two favorite girls in the whole damned universe, and get your thoughts on the new digs.
No bloodshed this time?
No, no bloodshed this time. So, we've logged about ten hours... thoughts?
I think I'm not even in the damned game!
They haven't ported your hair, yet. You've seen Maeva - she has a bald spot with that uncorrected hair. I have to keep her wearing a helmet.
That's right... taunt the demon. What could possibly go wrong?
Slack bastards! They need to hurry up. That, or make a version of that Conformulator thingy that doesn't fucking crash when you try to use it.
Focus, tangent, off-topic, et cetera.
I. Hate. The. Fucking. Desert. Seriously?! Another desert waste?! Why can't they focus one of these damned games in the Sawtooths? We could take over Sun Valley, rule our empire from a converted ski lodge... It would be so nice. Plus, ski bunnies!
I dunno; we haven't seen the Strip yet, but I always thought Vegas was pretty groovy. I spent some time there back in the '60s - uh, the 1960s, that is. The Rat Pack was big at the time, you know. Caught some shows, got wasted on some truly excellent single-malt. You wouldn't believe how much hot cabaret dancer tail you can get as a mysterious high roller...
Oh, come on! The Nevada wastes are every bit as much a pile of shit as the DC wastes. We don't even have a decent place to live. I never thought I'd miss that converted tin can in the ground...
What? I leased us that motel room.
Reminds me of a motor-lodge I stayed at in Trenton, once. Suppose it's better than sleeping in the sagebrush, but beyond that I don't know.
It's only got one bed! I don't like that damned demon rubbing up against you like that when we sleep!
There's enough of him to go around. I've already told you: I may occasionally want to borrow, but I won't try to keep him...
And I've told you that I'll cut your fucking demon heart out with a rusty spork and hand it to you.
Ladies - and believe me, some days I have to use that term loosely - can we please be civil? I'd ask you to kiss and make up, but I know you both swing that way; and death-by-marathon-three-way isn't on my list of acceptable ways to die, believe it or not. Let's talk about the new factions. What's your take, there?
Goodsprings is a shithole, and I still don't like the way that 'Sunny' skank was looking at you when you weren't paying attention.
Not impressed, myself. Standard cliche garbage, mostly. NCR are douchebags. Supposedly some Brotherhood around, too, I think? We need to find the Legion, though. They sound fun. Toga! Toga! Toga! Libations and slave-girls!
Brotherhood! I was hoping I'd never see them again. Goodie two-shoes, tin can wearing, boy scout, motherfuckers! I swear, if you make me deal with that Lyons bitch one more time... (The ranting continues for some time.)
So, uh, Maeva: you really think the Legion will be okay to side with?
Eh, they'll probably try to fuck us. Figuratively, hopefully. I fully expect you to be your usual evil bastard self and try to destroy everyone who isn't us.
Plan A has always worked well in the past, and if we get full control of ARCHIMEDES II...
Ideally, but remember the writers. That whole Highwater Trousers thing was a complete waste of our time. Though it was amusing when you first heard the word Archimedes. You know you grinned and muttered "death ray"?
Is it my fault I have an interest in history and know what Archimedes was famous for?
...and Goddammit I never signed the Geneva convention, so I don't know why I should be held to it! It was just the one incident with a Ka-Bar and some dental tools...
...Oh, man that woman scares me sometimes, even after all these years...
Heh, yeah... I keep expecting her to grow horns any day now. How's that glorified eye-bot going, anyway?
ED-E? He's the Yugo of companions. I expect him to burst into flame any moment. Why, I ask you, can't the robot companions in these games ever be hot? Something akin to a Persocom, with a nice, big set of... eyes... Yeah, that's it...
Agreed. I loves me some big, bouncy, firm eyes.
It's not my fault a badger wandered into the tent where he was tied up! There was also no way I could possibly know it was rabid, or that it had a taste for bait and tackle!
And I swear I was not the one who gave that initiate the Bloody Eagle! There were roving bands of Norsemen, I tell you!
I uh... think I'm going to end this conversation, now; before she starts speaking in tongues or such...
Good move, Master. Might I suggest we also run like fucking hell? Don't look back - you may become a pillar of salt.