Wednesday, August 15, 2012

This Week...

...On Skyrim's Most Inconspicuous Assassins:

What the hell do you mean, we "look suspicious"?

Also: when you can one-shot a frost dragon, you may have abused Skyrim's enchanting and smithing abilities a bit too much. Let's see, 471 damage, times three for the sneak bonus...

Hey, while we're making silly posts no one's going to pay any attention to; do we still have that Daedric helm we found in the Witches' nest?

Yeah; I think so... it's here someplace... Here you go.

*ahem* Ebenezer Scrooge! I am the ghost of Christmas Future! If you do not change your ways, this will be your fate...

Oh, Gods...

Huh. I never figured you for a Dickens fan. Was there some rape and murder I missed in the last retelling of that insipid mess masquerading as literary classic?

No; but like every other person in the western world, I've been subjected to that shit at least a dozen times... and I dunno; while we were roaming the Reach this morning I was looking at the helm and it just kind of hit me...

Yes, but don't worry, audience at home -- I, the demon, am clearly the insane and dangerous one.

I never liked Dickens. So depressing.

Yeah? Well take it from someone who was there: so was Victorian London.

Knock off the fucking social commentary. I'm trying to be either charmingly or disturbingly random. You know, whichever.

Uh huh.

Nos thought it was funny.

Master also thinks farts are funny. What's your point?

Hey, screw you! There's nothing funnier than a beautiful, elegant lady leaning to one side to let one rip completely at random.

You are so gross... And why are you laughing?

...Because it's funny? The Ghost of Christmas Future has spoken!

...Someone find me a bottle of Dwemer jet fuel or something. I don't think mead's going to get me through tonight...


  1. I tend to agree with the spectacled male; females who would have you believe that they are above such natural bodily functions are extremely amusing, especially when caught in the act. Being who I am, I abandoned such pretenses long ago.

    1. I knew there was some reason I liked you.

  2. Lol! That was a good way to start my day. Thank you!

    "I'm trying to be either charmingly or disturbingly random. You know, whichever."

    How about randomly disturbing in a charming way?

    1. Women who stab dragons between the eyes with swords get to be whatever they like.

    2. You won't hear any argument from me on that.