Friday, October 1, 2010

There Can Be Only One!

Fools! Did they really think dental torture could stop me?!

HA, I say!

Took twice the dose of anesthetic usually required for someone of my mass, and still wasn't completely numbed. Last trip, they managed to get me completely numb, but it took a full four syringes - 7.2ml - three times the normal dose.

I've been awake since noon-thirty PST on Thursday. Had twelve bags' worth of pomegranate green tea, more than a gallon of the watered down Arizona brand "tea" I usually drink cold, and a 24oz Rockstar, to boot. Although not the pomegranate Rockstar I like. Bitches at the quick-shop only had regular and sugar-free.

I can only assume that the fact that I haven't succumbed to tachycardia or dropped dead means I am an immortal, and will soon begin sword-fighting to determine rulership of the universe.

Fear my hand-and-a-half sword!

Or maybe I've just been up too long? Funny, suppressing panic attacks and repressing the urge to curb-stomp the person actively hurting you for a solid hour tends to make one forget trivialities such as mind-numbing exhaustion.

Also got to worry the hell out of my mom. You think suggesting that my solution for the pain was to take the entire bottle of hydrocodone was a bit much? I mean, come on... It's only 5500mg. Even if I washed it down with that bottle of vodka, I don't think it'd be lethal...

Still, "ooh, ooh! He has a death-wish! Worry worry!" Pfft. Humans. Really. Suggesting that I'd step in front of a truck? Everyone with any sense knows that at 35mph, that hit wouldn't be fatal - it'd just have good odds of making one a paraplegic.

Not that I actually tried the entire bottle, mind you. It was merely a suggestion when she was bitching that I should have self-medicated and taken two or three when one didn't work. Cause, yeah, opiate overdose is really something you want to taunt... addiction issues aside.

...What was I saying? Oh, right. Awake thirty-three hours. Brain no fire on all cylinders anymore. Pain. Anxiety attacks. Chest pains. Teeth still suck. No GECKing in near future. Hate life. Hate family. Hope all dentists get Gonorrhea.

And now, I go to inspect a rifle! Silly Reader, I can't pass out! Shit needs to be done before tomorrow!

Nos, away!

Fuck, I still have to put sheets on the bed, too...

8 comments:

  1. Ugh. Awake thirty-four hours and how much sleep do I get when I finally get to crash?

    Seven! Seven damned hours.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seven hours is adequate for human survival. NOW QUIT YER CRYIN' AN' GET BACK TA WORK, SOLDIER!!!

    Just kiddin'. I've had dental work done and what you're going through is like a hundred times worse than that. In your shoes by now I probably would have drugged myself back into rehab. I'd say something nice like I know how you feel and keep your chin up, but I know that does nothing to relieve pain like railroad spikes being driven into your skull. So I'll just say hope you feel better soon. I'll be around, playing Hexen or something.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ooooh that gotta hurt. Raiload spikes hahaha

    Hydrocodone 500MG Tab. Now theres a pain killer that will fool you. 5MG of codone whitch is what helps the pain and 15MG 3 tabs is fine, but 50MG can stick you in the dirt. Thing is that the outher 495MGs of a tab are Acetaminophen, and will drag your ass back up out of the dirt. Its the outher side of the coin!! What it all boils down to is takin a Speed Ball. Thats why your pain killer is keeping you up insted of knocking you out. Nodding one min., and kinda tweeking the next. Its a strange mix of a drug, but a very hard one to OD ones self with.

    So Dr. John says take as many as you need for your pain, and then find yourself something to take apart that you will never need use again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Herculine: You know, it's not even the pain. Yeah, my gums hurt - and that's what woke me at 0530 (We won't discuss what was going on between 0530 and 0645 when I posted that comment...), but I pop a few ibuprofen liquid gelcaps and in ten minutes it's fine again.

    What gets me is the noise when I'm in the chair. I have really good high frequency hearing, and the tool they use for a perio cleaning is apparently no longer a glorified water pic - it's a probe set up to have the tip vibrate at ultrasonic frequencies... which I can hear. Sounds almost exactly like a drill. The vibra-probe rubs on the teeth, and the vibrations move into my skull, so it's like nails on a chalkboard in my head at about 90 decibels.

    Even with sound isolating earbuds, I can't block it out at all. I'd normally just ignore it... but every 90 seconds or so they have to stop and vacuum the blood out, so I know goddamned well they're doing a ton of damage to something in there.

    It took a month, but I finally convinced that bastard dentist to give me some fucking anti-anxiety meds. Of course, I wanted Diazepam (Valium). Simple, proven, all side effects known. They're talking Lorazepam (Ativan), which I'm not as familiar with.

    Although believe me, the idea of grabbing some of that new "Spice" stuff and self-medicating myself into a stupor is tempting. Of course, doing that would result in a Ladies' size 9 Enforcer lodged firmly in my ass, so I think I'll have to resist the urge and tough it out on NSAIDs for now.

    (Huh, was going to link... but Bates appears to no long make Enforcer series boots in Ladies'. Someone's gonna be pissed...)


    @Sgt:

    I wanted Oxycodone - the one without the acetaminophen, but no one ever listens to me. Whatever it is, one tab did nothing whatsoever. It didn't even have the decency to make me sick to show it was trying to work.

    Fortunately, those new-ish Advil Liquid Gels are some seriously good shit. Pop four of those and I'm not sure you'd feel a broken arm in twenty minutes. I'm surprised it's available over the counter.

    Yeah, hefty doses of Ibuprofen are hard on the kidneys, but it's less hard than sleeping every second or third day is.

    Less chance of me running amok with a meat cleaver, too...

    I didn't actually take any yesterday. That post was pure caffeine abuse.

    I know the Hydrocodone doesn't work because it's the same thing they prescribed last "cleaning" visit. Tried one that night when I wasn't higher than the proverbial kite on stimulants, and it did nada.

    Think I'll pass on popping three or four, though. Doesn't hurt that bad, and I think at the dosage I'd need I'll end up an addict.

    Damnedest thing is my mom hit me up for the second prescription. Said if I wasn't going to take it, there was no reason to let it go to waste. Claims it helps her sleep.

    Funny, I don't recall hydrocodone being used as a sedative. Suppose if you take enough of it, though, that lovely opium coma that used to kill people in the 1890's sets in.

    If she was so hot on violating controlled substance law, she could have at least been a bro and given me some of her valium stash before the appointment.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No offense, but your mom sounds like quite a character. A real hoot. My mom was one of the people who used to give me liquor when I was a teen, so I can relate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Offense? Not quite. My dear mommy and I... don't get along.

    She's a pill-popping, manipulative, delusional, control freak with a pathological need to lie every time her lips move. She is, in short, a bitch.

    I remember when I was ten, her life of not working and running up credit card debt was just too stressful, and to "cope" she had to take Prozac, Xanax, and Amitriptyline and wash them down with black label Jack.

    Her mom is the same way, and used to pass out all kinds of goodies.

    Consequently, her brain is toast and she forgets who she's dealing with from time to time.

    I didn't speak to her from age 22 to almost 25. That got my point across, but every now and then she still needs a reminder. For some reason, she's convinced I'm still ten.

    Hasn't given me a birthday gift in like three years now because I won't play the game and circle shit in the JC Penny catalog anymore.

    Only reason I'm associating with her now is she knows the dentist and I ended up getting the stuff done for like 1/3 normal price.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow... I had always assumed that my family was the only one that did the circling items in the catalogs bit. For us it was at Christmas. And for the rare years when they tried to surprise us, we kids were bright enough to get the item numbers off the UPS boxes and look them up in the catalogs to see what we were getting. Good times, good times...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nah, you're not the only ones. In her case, if there's no surprise, there's no gift. It's pretty hard to surprise someone you can't be bothered to learn anything about, so that's that, in my case.

    Doesn't really bother me much anymore, except on principle.

    ReplyDelete